Turns Out the Lone Star on the Texas Flag is a Google Review

Results from my informal poll show Texas is in the sewer.

This participant in my informal poll of women’s opinions of Texas ranked the state “Number One” in her estimation. (Photo from the RDNE Stock Project)

People are trying to get out of Texas.

I spend a lot of time in bars and because I live in a tourist destination on the North Coast of America, I run into a lot of people from other states. Strangely, this past summer, an inordinate number of them were from Texas.

Made me wonder why so many people were looking to leave their home state.

So with all the bad reviews Texas is getting in the mainstream news these days, I decided to do a little informal polling of my own in an effort to discover why anyone … particularly a woman … would live in such a shithole part of the country.

Not all women polled disliked the state they lived in. When I surveyed one woman (featured in the photo above), she seemed to indicate that Texas is definitely number one, which kind of confused me. But, all the women I spoke with agreed that the lone star on the state’s flag indicates a Google rating.

“It’s a long way from when the state was led by Ann Richards, who was Governor from 1991 to 1995. Since then, the indignity of not having a penis in this state has become almost unbearable,” said one woman who refused to give us her name on condition of anonymity. “That’s why I’m giving Texas a single-star review. This place lives up to its nickname as the Lone Star State in my book,” she added.

Her view of the state’s flag seemed at first unusual. Texans have a long history of being proud of the six flags they have flown in their long and storied history starting with the Spanish flag, then the flag representing the Louisiana Purchase, and the Mexican flag as well as others including the flag representing the Confederate States of America.

Having lost the war to advance slavery, men in Texas have shifted their aggressions away from people of color to women in general. Texas has never been keen on its female population for anything other than those housewifey things and has always treated them sort of like chattel.

For example, men in Texas are still upset about the Equal Credit Opportunity Act of 1974 which gave women the right to have a credit card separate from their husbands.

“Y’all up north don't get it, “ said one man who told me he waited two years to report her stolen credit card to police. When asked why he waited so long to report the theft he replied, “It saved me money. Whoever stole it was spending less than my wife.”

All of the men I polled were in distinct opposition to the women surveyed. Several suggested the state re-adopt the flag of the Confederacy which flew over Texas from 1861 to 1865, apparently because it has more stars in it.

“Besides being a better review, it demonstrates solidarity with other states who got the hell away from the United States on formed our own country,” said one man who, incidentally was so proud of his patriotism that he bragged about his visit to the Nation’s capitol on January 6th a few years ago.

Must be he liked the monuments.

Recently though, male Texans have upped their war on women with the passage of the country’s most aggressive assault on women’s reproductive rights. Because of this, the National Organization for Women ranks Texas as the 7th worst state in the country for women to live.

Makes one wonder how bad it must be in the 6th that beat them out for this distinction.

The internet website Versus Texas has this to say about abortion in the Lone Star State:

“Performing or aiding an abortion resulting in the unborn child’s death is a first-degree felony punishable by five to 99 years in prison, according to Texas Government Code Sec. 170A.002. Under the law, administrative penalties include the mandatory revocation of a medical, nursing, or pharmacy license. The statute also allows the Texas attorney general to seek a civil penalty of not less than $100,000, plus attorney’s fees and costs. People who can be prosecuted under the law include:

Medical personnel, including doctors and nurses

A family member or friend who helps pay for the procedure

A pharmacist who sells an abortion medication

Anyone who hands a medication abortion pill to another person

Anyone who drives the patient to a clinic or the place of the abortion

I guess those exorbitant fines are one way to balance the budget.

Apparently, lawmakers decided to use abortion laws to capitalize on some other of Texas’ “firsts”.

Texas, along with 8 of their fellow former states in the Confederacy also has the highest rates of teenage pregnancy in the country.

The national birth rate among teenage girls ages 15 to 19 is 15.4 births per 1,000. Texas, though below Mississippi with its 27.9 per 1,000 rating, comes in at 22.4.

“That’s good for us”, quipped one particularly onerous Texas fisherman. Looking to me for some agreement he added, “Right?”

Texas law also allows marriage between first cousins once removed.

And, Texas ranks 14th out of 50 for incidence of forcible rapes. Neither is an excuse for an abortion.

He went on to parrot a kinship with a Republican state legislator from Delaware who summed it up this way:

“You know, we have a massive problem in this country. Our birthrate is way, way below replacement. You know, we are just not having enough babies. And, it’s all because of access to abortion. Women are doing away with fetuses before they have a chance to grow into these people that we need to support us.”

He also pointed to what he called the progressive “Romeo and Juliet Law” in his home state where Texas Penal Code 22.011 of the Texas Penal Code allows:

Anyone between the ages of 14 and 17 can legally engage in consensual sexual acts with someone within three years of their age, so long as the other party is at least 14 years old.

Interesting.

Makes one wonder if you divorce your wife in Texas, is she still your sister?