You Get Rid of Your Dirtbag, and We’ll Get Rid of Ours

Democrat Robert Menendez and Republican George Santos are cut from the same cloth

Corruption as illustrated by a mural in the U.S. Library of Congress Reading Room vestibule.

Someone once said, “You just can’t make this stuff up!” and it is attributed to a variety of satirists from Dave Barry to Molly Ivans and sometimes even to television’s Simpsons.

The truth of that statement is once more heating up as New Jersey’s Senator Democrat Robert Menendez’s vat of corruption has boiled over. It has become headline news as federal prosecutors alleged he’s taken bribes, interfered in criminal investigations back home in New Jersey, and accepted vacations, transportation on private planes, and outlandish gifts that make Clarence Thomas’ pocketing of treasures look like a Boy Scout earning merit badges.

What surprises me most about the Senator Menendez hullabaloo, is that it shouldn’t really be a surprise at all. He’s the product of a corrupt system and has been under scrutiny going back to the days of his being Mayor of Union City, New Jersey.

It’s carried on throughout his political career right into the United States Senate where back in 2018 he was admonished by the ethics committee for playing fast and loose with the rules.

Now, investigators have found suspicious cars, cash, and currency when they raided his house. They even found $100,000 worth of gold bars under the mattress. Prosecutors are now using the cache of goodies as evidence of his wrongdoing.

I’m confused about what this has to do with any wrongdoing. Doesn’t every U.S. Senator have a few gold bars lying around in the basement?

Remember, he’s only a U.S. Senator. How can he live so lavishly on a meager $174,000 a year? My goodness, they haven’t had a raise since 2009. How can he be expected to survive on that paltry salary?

Not surprisingly, Senator Menendez is crying not guilty despite outraged colleagues calling for his resignation. But not so fast. Cooler heads will prevail.

Senator Schumer announced his dismay and disappointment, but he also is shrewd enough to realize that Democrats need his vote in the Senate to hold back the crazies.

Menendez may be a dirtbag, but getting rid of him would flush the country down the toilet at a time when we need even the likes of him to keep our Democracy safe.

It’s no different over in the House of Representatives. The Republican majority may be smiling like a house full of Cheshire Cats, but make no mistake about it, they’ve got their own dirtbag to deal with.

House Speaker Kevin McCarthy would love to shout “Hang ‘em” from the rooftops but has to remember his own handling of George Santos with kid gloves.

Santos is the Republicans’ very own bag of doo-doo. Despite lying about everything to everybody … including voters … and writing bad checks like a drunken sailor on leave in a foreign port, he sits quietly in his House seat, representing Long Island with aplomb.

His colleagues censured him and even called for his resignation. But he’s still sporting that snazzy blue cardigan sweater just as Menendez will still go on driving around in his Mercedes.

Both these guys are cut from the same cloth. They think getting elected gives them free rein to lie, cheat, and steal everything they can get their hands on.

Our elected officials have been reaping ill-gotten rewards since the founding of the Republic. It’s the American way.

Think George Washington Plunkitt of Tammany Hall who perfected the practice of what he called “Honest Graft” and who described his larceny with the famous political line, “I seen my opportunities and I took ‘em.”

There’s a silver lining in all of this. Even though our leaders can’t agree on a budget because crossing the line to compromise with the other side of the aisle is considered the eighth deadly sin, this dirt-baggery presents a golden opportunity.

Democrats and Republicans could go down in history by agreeing on one simple idea, “You get rid of your dirtbag, we’ll get rid of ours.”

I'm betting time will not tell.