Here are Who Gen Zers Get to Choose From for Rizzler of the Year 2023
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It’s the one award we’ve all been waiting for as 2023 comes to a close, the Oxford Dictionary’s 2023 Word of the Year honor … and the winner is … “rizz”.
Invented by Gen Zers, it’s what really matters for them in the 21st century.
“Rizz” is short for charisma such as:
“… someone’s ability to attract another person through style, charm, or attractiveness.”
“Rizz” when used as a verb like “rizz-up” means to
“to attract, seduce, or chat up (a person).”
and, as a noun …
“rizzler,” a title given to individuals who possesses a lot of “rizz.”
In case you’ve forgotten, Gen Z is the generation name for those born between 1997 and 2012 which means they are from ages 11 to 26.
ELEVAN? Really? No one listened to me when I was 11. When I was that age if I said anything more than, “May I please have another Oreo cookie?” I was scolded or spanked, and condemned to my room for what seemed like an eternity.
But frankly, I’m not surprised at Gen Z’s emphasis on charisma. It’s hard to withstand. But, these days their choice of heroes ranks from the ridiculous to the sublime. So, if you’re wondering why Gen Zers seem just a little screwed up, just take a moment to scan your favorite news source to see the personalities dominating the headlines.
First let me tell you that the people getting all the attention aren’t the ones winning Nobel Prizes for science, literature, or peace. This crop of mostly whack jobs all have one thing in common. They all have “rizz”.
They’ve taught Gen Z that all ya’ gotta do to be famous is rizz-up your neighbor into sharing your rant on tic-tok, sleeping with you, or giving you their money to support your cause.
Scanning the home pages of my favorite news sites, here ae my nominations for top rizzler Gen Zers can choose from for 2023 … starting with the competition for being ridiculous, and ending with the unchallenged sublime choice.
Donald Trump of course has to be at the head of the ridiculous category. Love him or hate him, you have to admit he has rizz. Despite four federal indictments including 94 charges of wrongdoing, thousands of civil lawsuits, and bragging about grabbing women by the pussy, he continues to be considered by many as the second coming of Christ. But in my humble estimation, his latest rant at a town hall meeting in Iowa hosted by Sean Hannity about being a dictator on his first day after winning in 2024 was certainly no Sermon on the Mount.
Close behind Trump for having the most rizz is, of course, the richest person in the world, Elon Musk. He’s shown us all a unique business model of how to take 40 billion dollars and turn it into 20 billion dollars by telling all your customers to go “fuck themselves”. Now if that’s not a mogul model lesson on which to base your next Junior Achievement project, then what is? Gen Zers may not have made their share of the Billion dollars, but they have the “fuck everyone” down to a science.
Former New York Governor Andrew Cuomo certainly makes my ridiculous list of 2023 top rizzlers. Despite ignoring his history of letting seniors die in nursing homes in record numbers during the pandemic, he figures if Donald can do it, he can too. Remember, Cuomo resigned under pressure for operating the state capitol like his own personal harem. Now he’s toying with getting back into politics and considering running for everything from New York Mayor to King of Queens. He‘s started to believe his own press releases. Takes a lot of rizz to think we’re all stupid enough to elect this guy.
Last but not least in the ridiculous column, is my favorite punching bag, former Long Island Congressman George Santos. This guy has not only stolen thousands of dollars from political donors, he’s lied about everything on his resume from being the son of Holocaust survivors to winning the championship for his college’s volleyball team. Now, disgraced and booted out of Congress, he’s being considered as star of a reality show in 2024.
George Santos? Reality? There’s nothing real about George Santos and elevating him to a hero on TV gives even television a bad name.
At the risk of alienating the two followers I have who are under the age of 26, I’m singling out Taylor Swift, Time Magazine’s Person of the Year, as the absolute sublime of all rizzlers. If anyone on this list has rizz, she does. She’s unchallenged as the year’s greatest performing artist.
But here’s a short list of some people who’ve been Time’s Person of the Year since they started naming them in 1927.
Twenty-three presidents including Franklin Roosevelt, John F. Kennedy, Bill Clinton, and Barack OBama, and three Popes; John XXIII, John Paul II, and Francis. A few other notables have graced the cover including Chinese leader Deng Xiaoping, British Prime Minister Winston Churchill, Ukraine’s Volodymyr Zelinski, German Chancellor Angela Merkel, Egypt’s lader Anwar Sadat, and Queen Elizabeth II.
The roster of notables goes on and on and it’s a pretty top-notch community. So I’m not sure Taylor makes the cut just because young women all over the nation can break out into her songs at a moment’s notice.
Whatever happened to being famous for saving the world from the Nazis, writing the great American novel, or brokering peace between Israel and Egypt?
At the risk of appearing out of touch, I’m sticking with the rizzlers of my youth like JFK, Martin Luther King, the Challenger space crew, Rosa Parks, RFK, Cesar Chavez, Neil Armstrong, Margaret Sanger, and Rachel Carson.
Finally, I have to remember that it is the Holiday season. In case you’re wondering who appears to have the most rizz around my neck of the woods at this time of year, it’s Jesus Christ. These days where I live, in deep dark Trump Country along the North Coast of America, people have one of two signs in their front yards. “Fuck Biden” or “Jesus is the Reason for the Season”.
Sometimes both.
Confused? Don’t worry, it doesn’t make any sense to me either.
But, whether I believe it or not, about 2.8 billion of the world’s 8 billion people believe he has rizz.
The question for me remains … did he ever write a hit song?
